If you did a survey to find out what men and women want in the New Year, you will hear some of the same old things you always hear. The majority of people in the general population talk about exercising more, quitting bad habits, or eating healthier.
When asked about their plans for the New Year, users of a dating site think more about finding a partner. Sure, you might say that makes sense because they are on a dating site, after all. Humor me: let’s take a closer look at this.
Women in the study say they want to change “their marital status,” while men say they seek a good relationship and love. In other words, men seem less interested in marriage. According to this study, it’s modern societies fault.
The life verse to look at is found in Proverbs, KJV, 12:4:
"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
Another translation reads like this “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
What is a virtuous woman? What is the character of such a woman?
A virtuous woman is a noble woman of moral character. If you say that someone is a noble person, you admire and respect him or her because she is unselfish and morally good. If you say that something is a noble idea, goal, or action, you admire it because it is based on high moral principles.
What the Bible is referring to here when it says a virtuous woman is a woman of noble character. This is a woman who is both unselfish and morally good. These are pretty high standards, but it is something to aspire to.
The Bible teaches that the selfless woman, or a woman who is more concerned with others, is attractive to men. The other part of the definition in the equasion of a selfless woman is morality. A moral woman does what is right. She doesn’t lie or make up stories. She is not given to gossip. We have all heard the horror stories of people who have low moral character. I don’t think I need to define that. There is plenty of that all around us.
Ok, now that we established a virtuous woman is an attractive trait, let’s face it: people are inherently selfish. The selfish person lacks respect for others. Both men and women are inherently selfish. We are born that way. We are trained to be that way. It’s all about us as children. Then we are told we are special. Our culture tells us everyone should cater to us. We are all hearing that same message.
It’s no wonder we have such a difficult time when we want to share our lives with someone and all of a sudden realize it’s not all about me. That is not what society teaches women to be. Our self-driven culture is all ‘about me.’
How do we get from me to us?
We first have to recognize there are two people in a relationship. This sounds easy. There is a disconnection between what women are doing and what they expect in a man. If the boyfriend you desire to marry won't commit, chances are that he thinks you are selfish. If this is the case, examine yourself. Look at your behavior. Do you fit the bill of a virtuous woman? Are you honest with him? We all come to a place in our lives where when we look in the mirror, and we either like what we see or we don’t. Look at yourself in the mirror of life and if you don’t like what you see; change it.
Men marry women who they perceive care about their needs. A selfless woman is attractive to a man. This does not mean that you cease to exist just because you are in a relationship. It means you are now caring about him and his feelings as well as your own. He must know that his needs come first to you.