Lanterns: The struggle is REAL

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The struggle is REAL

Greetings from California.

We all have many things happening in our lives.  I have a lot of things going on and one of them is Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, otherwise known as C.O.P.D.

I smoked cigarettes for thirty-four years and quit two years ago only when I was told I have C.O.P.D. The man in the picture is me by the way on my last trip to the emergency room with breathing problems. As far as I know, I am at the beginning or stage one. There are four stages and stage four is the last one before you die. I now need to ask my doctor to prescribe me a nebulizer so I won't have to go to E.R. all the time. 

Smoking cigarettes was the stupidest thing I ever did in my life. I never should have started. C.O.P.D. seems to run in my family. My brother and father also have it. It turns out that it goes hand in hand with heart failure. My Father did smoke for a brief time, but I think he got his from working around fiberglass and asbestos before they knew it was bad. My brother smoked longer than I did, and quit after me. 

I am not here to tell anyone who smokes what to do. I am just saying what it has done to me. 

I can’t walk more than two blocks without being very winded. Simply bending over to tie my shoes sometimes requires rest before I get up. I have to rely on two different inhalers, and now I need a nebulizer just to make it through every day. I have nobody to blame for this, but myself. Sure, cigarette companies put chemicals in the tobacco and advertised all over the place, or at least they did in the 80s when I started smoking. You might feel they deserve some of the blame, but I don’t.

I was the one who asked for my first cigarette. I was the one who almost passed out after the first drag. I was the one who decided to be stupid and keep smoking even after that. So, I have only myself to blame. I don’t know how many years I have left, but I do know they won't be quality ones. I am forty-eight years old at the time of this writing, I personally don’t know if I will see my late fifties. I might, I might not. My father has been in stage one for over ten years. He is in his seventies right now. Time will tell. 

I struggle with C.O.P.D., but God is always with me helping me through it every minute of every day.

God bless you. 

Written by Rev BK

Father of Autistic Son, Author, Clergyman, Conservative.

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